Mischa says I am blogging a lot recently. He is right, I do blog more when I am not feeling well. It is therapeutic, it is like a friend that is always there. It feels better when the words are on the paper (or screen in this instance).
I promised myself to not show others how I feel anymore. As I know that this often turns into the mixture of sadness and anger and I know it is difficult to understand. It is confusing. And it is definitely not worth losing those few people around me that actually care. The ones I like and do want to keep as friends. However, it is difficult when you all of a sudden start feeling really sad. It is difficult to go to work in the morning. It is often difficult to focus on work and this often requires a lot of energy. It is difficult to hold back the tears as you cannot cry in public. On the other hand: it is very easy to feel lonely. It is easy to feel worthless. It is easy to feel that no one cares. I know that I felt similar when I moved to Switzerland. I know that things take time. I know I need to be careful how I act towards people when I feel like that. I know that things will get better, that life is never just bad. I know that things sometimes take just a little bit more time ...
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