I read an interesting article a day ago. It said that people are not supposed to be happy. Because if we would have been, we would be satisfied with what we have and the world would collapse as we would not be looking for better options anymore. I am not sure if I completely agree with this, but it is probably true that we are never completely happy and even when we are, this does not last for too long. We are always looking for improvements and when we are in this state, it is also often difficult to realistically "look" back at how good our lives actually are.
I have been struggling a lot with my life in the past few months. I think it took several months before the reality hit pretty hard. When you move to the other side of the world, you start realising in what kind of a bubble we live in Europe(an Union). Because we can move freely and wherever we go, we are given the same rights that we have in our own country. But when you move somewhere else, things are never that easy: you rely on some sort of a visa that is mostly connected with your job- if you lose a job, you are gone. You are not entitled to the same health insurance system as the locals, if you have kids, you do not get the same amount of support and you need to pay for the school fees. You are not allowed to freely change your work, nor you are allowed to be unemployed ... And no matter how stable your position is, it always stays in your head that everything is just temporary.
It can be quite difficult when the reality hits. We know we left everything back "home" for this and if we do not make it meaningful, it was just a complete waste of time. I think this is something that I am not prepared to accept. I do not want to look back and say that this was a waste of our time. That we left stable lives, our families and friends, an opportunity to maybe start a family, missing so much in the lives of the people we love. But then ... What is the thing that needs to happen in order to not regret this.
Are we learning new things and progressing in our careers? We definitely are, even if we sometimes do not feel like this.
Do we have people around we can call in the middle of the night in case something happens? I think we do.
Are we having people around ourselves that we care enough to do the same? We definitely do!
Do I have a bunch of friends I can go for a coffee and gossip about the people or complain about Mischa and my life in general? Maybe not a bunch, but possibly one or two. Even if this means that sometimes it requires me to make the first step.
Do we generally have a good work/life balance and we can afford everything we need and want? We can.
Is it overall a good experience that will teach us new things and make us stronger people? Hell yeah!
Life can sometimes be so damn hard. It is so easy to be stuck in a rollercoaster of bad feelings. It is so easy to see how others have it better, how others are luckier, how they publish better, how everything they do just works, how they have a bunch of people around themselves when things get bad ... It is quite easy to forget about everything good and feel sad, lonely and depressed. I have felt like that so often in the past few months and things can still so easily trip me over. But then .. This morning I woke up healthy. I am able to walk and I was able to do a running training. I had someone to share my breakfast (and my thoughts) with. I have a roof above my head and I am able to work in a field that is demanding and rewarding. People at home are just a phone call/message away that does not take months before it reaches them. There are probably so many people around the world that would give everything for this. And while I had numerous thoughts recently about how I would do everything to just find an eraser that would allow me to erase myself from this world, I know there are people that would be quite upset if this would actually be possible.
And to conclude this: moving to the other side of the world does make you re-think how important relationships are:
http://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW/videos/1972836819697440/UzpfSTU5NTM3NDAwMDoxMDE1NTU3NzQ4NzM5NDAwMQ/
Think about everyone that you take for granted, because no one can guarantee that he/she will still be around tomorrow.
