Stop the time

Lately things have changed. They turned for 180 degrees and time started to fly. I barely follow which day it is and probably only know the date because I need to label the samples in the lab.

If, until now, I have not been sure if I want to stay in Switzerland, I now decided I will. At least until the end of my PhD. Or better said: until the end of my PhD. :) I have had long conversation at work with all my supervisors whether to stay or to go. And after talking to all three of them for one hour, changing my project quite a bit, changing my working bench to another lab and actually having much more communication with people that are working on the same topic, things look much nicer. I am sure I can make my project work and this is the major reason why time flies so fast recently. I want to have purified protein by the time I go for holidays (my supervisor wants plates with set up protein for crystallization) and this means I am also working on weekends so that I am not wasting any time. Because I have not had any real holidays this year and I have problems sleeping, I am tired all the time. I have problems getting up in the morning and at the moment life really does not exist before the first coffee. And then continues with second and third ... I am really looking forward to go for holidays. Even though that I know I might be even more tired after I come back to Switzerland. :P

And the rest of my life? I still miss some people that have left in the last month. I still miss old conversations and I am worrying I might bother people too much with trying to talk to them. On the other hand, I am trying to let things go. Live some time to pass. I know things will change and you never know what time has to offer. On the other hand I am trying to connect more with people that are here. To get a bit more involved with IAESTE in Zurich, I went to the cinema with some of my coworkers and we are trying to organize bowling for all PhD students in our department. I started to go to the gym again and it is time to plan the trip and finalise the general plan. And the time flies. You come home, eat dinner and it is 11 already and time to go to sleep. Let's stop the time. Just for a little while, so we can enjoy the moment.

Just need some time

I have just come back from home. It is a funny feeling knowing that Mischa stayed in Slovenia to do some more experiments before coming back. And I do feel a bit lonely. Because I am alone here and also because I had such an amazing time with all my friends back home. It was so good to catch up with all of them, especially because I have not seen some of them for almost a year. One of the most important conversation was the one I had today with one of my ex schoolmates. There were many bad times over last year and I had problems coping with certain issues that came up. I tried to solve them myself and got a huge amount of support from my best friends and family. But I realized today that the only thing that can really help is to talk to someone who went through the same thing. And I did. Maybe a bit late, but it is never too late. I had a conversation with one of the people I probably admire the most in my life. And when he was explaining how he felt, I had a feeling he is describing my situation. I now believe that it is true: I need some more time. Zurich did become my second home already, I just need some more time to adjust a bit more. I am so happy that the timing was right: what is the probability that two of us that live in 2 different countries meet in the third country at the same time? I do believe in myself a bit more now and I do believe that things will get better with a bit more time. All we need is a bit of patience. :) And people that know what to say.