I have a feeling all my blogs start pretty much similar recently. When we went for lunch last week, one of my Slovenian friends said: "What's up? It seems you are just complaining." It made me think and I guess he is right. I do complain a lot, I also complain much more over the social media than I do in real life. At least, this is what I would like to think. I also hope complaining will help, at least make me feel better if not making the whole situation better.
I miss my friends lately. Like a lot. How difficult is it to keep a long distance friendship? Sometimes it is problematic even when both friends are living in the same country, not talking about the friendships that are separated into two different countries or continents. How many friendships survive just because one of the people invests a lot of time? And when I have such a feeling with some of my friends, Mischa reminds me then how many emails remained unanswered on my side. How many messages were stuck because I wanted to answer them properly, how many skype meeting cancelled because I did not feel like it at the moment, how many trips not done, just because I never took time? I guess friendship is always driven by both parties, probably sometimes even more gentle than a relationship and just needs a lot of love to survive.
I know I feel like this partly because I realised recently how happy I am to have all these amazing friends, but also because my life is not easy at the moment. The end of my PhD is coming closer and, even if I don't like to admit, it does stress me a lot. It does make me feel like I am a complete failure on times and I am not good with dealing with this. Then you start thinking what else have you done in these last years and there is not much to tell. I think language made a huge impact and, besides some people at work, I have not really made much new friends (not speaking that I have really not done much more than just work). This doesn't make me more confident either.
I guess we don't always need to write long emails or have hours of conversations on skype. Sometimes it is enough to send a simple message and say: "I think about you." It makes life nicer and better.
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